Today's funny :o)

Today's word is   APHORISM

Aphorism   is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.  

 

 

♦   I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble.... but shouldn’t that be an even number?  

 

♦   I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.  

 

♦   When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.  

 

♦   Relationships   are like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?  

 

♦   You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body   .  

 

♦   My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!  

 

♦   I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.  

 

♦   Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.  

 

♦   You're not fat, you're just easier to see.  

 

♦   If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.  

 

♦   I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"  

 

♦   I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penney has an older women’s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor"  

 

♦   The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.  

 

♦   Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch, OR it can buy a nice little yacht you can park right next to happiness.

 

♦   The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married.  Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, & he was a drunk.  

 

 

Does all this make you feel better about aphorisms?

 

Diapers and politicians should be changed often…and for the same reason.

 

~ Mark Twain

:o)