A Few years ago,
we moved into a retirement development on Florida 's
southeast coast. We are living in the "Delray/Boca/Boynton
Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee".
There are 3,000 lakes in Florida ; only three are real.
Our biggest retirement
concern was time management. What were we going to do all
day? Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem. Our days
are eaten up by simple, daily activities. Just getting out of our
car takes 15 minutes. Trying to find where we parked takes 20
minutes. It takes a half-hour in the check-out line in Wal-Mart,
and 1 hour to return the item the next day.
Let me take you through a
typical day: We get up at 5:00 am, have a quick breakfast and join
the early morning Walk-and-Fart Club. There are about 30 of us,
and rain or shine, we walk around the streets, all talking at
once. Every development has some late risers who stay in bed
until 6:00 am. After a nimble walk, avoiding irate drivers
out to make us road kill, we go back home, shower and change for
the next activity.
My wife goes directly to
the pool for her underwater Pilates class, followed by gasping for
breath and CPR. I put on my 'Ask me about my Grandchildren'
T-shirt, my plaid mid-calf shorts, my black socks and sandals and
go to the clubhouse lobby for a nice nap.
Before we know it, it's time
for lunch. We go to Costco to partake of the many tasty samples
dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All free! After a filling
lunch, if we don't have any doctor appointments, we might go to
the flea market to see if any new white belts have come in or to buy
a Rolex watch for $2.00.
We're usually back home by
2:00 pm to get ready for dinner. People start lining up for
the early bird about 3:00 pm, but we get there by 3:45 because
we're late eaters. The dinners are very popular because of the
large portions they serve. We can take home enough food for the
next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, packets
of mustard, relish, ketchup and Splenda, along with mints.
At 5:30 pm we're home,
ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30 pm we're fast asleep. Then
we get up and make five or six trips to the bathroom during the
night, and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again.
Doctor-related
activities eat up most of our retirement time. I enjoy reading
old magazines in sub-zero temperatures in the waiting room, so I
don't mind. Calling for test results also helps the days fly
by. It takes at least a half-hour just getting through the
doctor's phone menu. Then there's the hold time until we're
connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget we're
holding, and the whole office goes off to lunch.
Should we find we still
have time on our hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity
to help the less fortunate. Florida has the largest
concentration of seniors under five feet and they need our
help. I myself am a volunteer for 'The Vertically Challenged
Over 80.' I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers.
The hoop is only 4-1/2 feet from the floor. You should see
the look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam dunk.
Food shopping is a problem for
short seniors, or 'bottom feeders' as we call them, because they
can't reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods
they've never tasted. After shopping, most seniors can't remember
where they parked their cars and wander the parking lot for hours while
their food defrosts.
Lastly, it's important to
choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are
very popular in Florida . They convey world travelers,
uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather
live: Murray 's Condos or the Lakes of Venice? There's
no difference -- they're both owned by Murray, who happens to be a
cheapskate.
I hope this material has been
of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further
assistance, please look me up when you're in Florida . I
live in the Leaning Condos of Pisa in Boynton Beach.
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