Today's funny :0)

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a sample jar and said, 'Take this home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as
clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with
 my right hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her
 right hand, then with her left, still nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit,
 and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still  nothing..

'The doctor was shocked! - 'You asked your neighbour?' 

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the darn jar open!'